Imagine
going back to a time when iPads did not exist, phone companies charged 10 cents per text, and social media was limited. It seems like it would be hard to build friendships and find playgroups back then, but Deana Bollinger Ingram says it was actually much easier.
Ingram is a founder of East Side Moms of Syracuse, one of the most popular parenting groups in Central New York. Now housed on Facebook with more than 14,000 members, local moms and dads turn to the powerhouse network for every possible need. They ask vital questions, trade tips, sell toys, and promote their side-gig businesses. While the group has supported thousands of parents over the past 20 years, Ingram believes there’s a missing piece. The group used to host play dates, activities, and meetups, but that calendar of in-person events disappeared a decade ago.
How A Calendar Built A Community
When it was first formed in 2004, East Side Moms of Syracuse looked very different. Ingram had spent 2 years as a stay-at-home mom for her twin girls. It was a drastic change from her previous career working 12-hour days, and she needed a way to keep busy and socialize. So, she launched the group with her friends Deidre Popp and AnnaMaria Lankes.
“The moms group saved my sanity because it gave me another focus,” Ingram said. “We ran it like you would run a business.”
Ingram and her friends began scheduling regular playdates that were open for any local families to attend. They developed a monthly newsletter called Mother Matters, and they compiled an activities calendar to send to members via email. The calendar was jam-packed with daily excursions like firehouse tours, MyGym classes, pumpkin picking, park days, and even the occasional moms’ night out. Parents from across the community brought their kids, and friendships formed easily since many parents were new to the group. Ingram and the other founding members made a special effort to welcome newcomers. As parents connected, some formed smaller age-specific play groups that met separately, which created even more options for members to choose from.
These gatherings made East Side Moms explode in popularity. To accommodate the increasingly large membership, the group transitioned their communication from email to Yahoo Groups and then finally to Facebook.
Why The Meetups Disappeared
Ingram and her friends ran the group for many years until their children grew up, and then they looked for ways to step back. They searched for parents who were willing to take over administrative responsibilities, like the newsletter and their cherished activities calendar. Ingram, Lankes, and Popp held a meeting to seek volunteers to take over, but no one stepped up. The playdates dropped off, and about 10 years have passed without an in-person component for the group.
As the only remaining founding member, Ingram is proud of the group’s positive impact through Facebook, but she’s adamant that mom meetups are an essential piece. Since the transition to Facebook, members have shifted to using the space as a forum for questions and conversation, rather than a hub for activities. Decreased face-to-face interaction has led to more drama with members posting harsh comments behind the veil of computer screens. A parent in a difficult situation may come to the group looking for assistance and end up receiving criticism instead.
“You could make a comment that the sky is blue, and people could rip you to shreds,” Ingram said.
Her goal is to connect moms and not divide them, so the group has a zero-tolerance policy for bullying. Anyone posting hateful comments is booted. When Ingram was a young mom, the group helped her navigate parenthood and discover resources. She wants to maintain that for other moms, so she continues with the Facebook group even though she feels live gatherings are more effective.
“Parenthood is hard,” Ingram said. “The activities give everyone a purpose and a drive. They make surviving parenthood a reality.”
Ingram’s point is easily backed up: The U.S. Surgeon General released a 2024 advisory that moms and dads are disproportionately lonely and stressed compared to other adults. The same report offered a solution that aligns with Ingram’s beliefs. It says we need to “create opportunities to cultivate supportive social connections among parents and caregivers.” Or, in plain terms, we need to spend more time together. By building positive relationships, parents can decrease the negative effects of stress. It gives them a place to vent, find encouragement, and share stories.
New Meetups For Local Parents
Given the current climate of loneliness and stress, it certainly seems like the perfect time to resurrect those community meetups. Ingram gave the team at 315MOM her best tips on starting a meetup calendar, and we’ve decided to take on the challenge. 315MOM is not affiliated with East Side Moms, but we appreciate Ingram’s example and her support in taking on this important mission.
Each issue of 315MOM will feature a calendar of in-person outings that range from moms’ night out, family-friendly adventures, playground dates, exercise sessions, and more. Some events will require signup, and registration links will be provided. Others will be open for anyone to come and go on a whim. We’ve tried to plan a wide range of activities so there is something for everyone, and we encourage you to reach out with ideas by emailing us at hello@315mom.com.
The first meetup calendar is available now online and on the back page of our March/April magazine. We hope to see you soon!