Here’s the Conversation That
Saves Families

In 2014, I found myself at a crossroads: one of those transitional periods that make you question everything. I had taken a job working in the senior care industry, and as a self-proclaimed empath and highly-sensitive person, I worried the role wouldn’t suit me. But deep down, I knew I’d regret not trying. That job turned into a career, which eventually evolved into a calling, a mission, and a purpose.

When I entered my new role, I encountered day after day of heartbreaking stories. Families grappled with aging parents in need of care and teetered on the edge of crisis. I saw siblings pointing fingers, vying for control, and battling over money. Childhood dynamics resurfaced: the bossy sister and the bullying brother rehashed decades-old arguments. Mom had Alzheimer’s, Dad had recently passed after years of masking her condition, and caregiver burnout was rampant. There was no health care proxy, no power of attorney, no living will — just a basic will stating everything would be divided equally. The result? Chaos. The bossy sister wanted Mom in California with a caregiver; the bullying brother insisted on a nursing home. Emotions flared, options were debated, but decisions were impossible without clarity or preparation.

After years of helping families navigate these heartbreaking situations, I knew I couldn’t stay on the reactive end of these stories. I needed to get ahead of the crisis and educate families on the importance of planning and share the tools that make it possible. I felt compelled to shout lessons from the rooftops: Don’t wait. Take control of your legacy. Protect your family from unnecessary pain.

This mission became personal when my beloved grandfather declined rapidly in his 90s and landed in the hospital. His four children panicked; no legal preparations had been made. My grandparents’ home became the epicenter of a family dispute. My uncle, who had bought the home to care for my grandparents, clashed with my aunts over the division of assets. Old grievances resurfaced, and relationships unraveled. Despite my efforts to stay connected with my cousins, the family splintered. My grandmother, still alive and well, never again saw her entire family together.

My grandfather’s mistake was common and avoidable. Families often leave sibling dynamics, control, and money to chance, with devastating consequences. I share this story because it may echo your own. The only thing worse than an avoidable tragedy is repeating it. If we don’t talk about these issues, they slip to the bottom of the to-do list.

In 2020, I formed Aging Advocates CNY to provide families with guidance and solutions on a larger scale. While most of our calls still come during a crisis, I’m cautiously optimistic of a shift happening. There’s so much we can’t control in life, but we can start by having the conversation and learning from our past to protect our future.

This is sponsored content by Aging Advocates CNY. We offer senior care services that are customized for your family. If you’re interested in learning how we can support your aging journey, visit www.agingadvocatescny.com or call 315-469-1000